If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
