Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
