I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you win again, gameday.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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