She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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