who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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