So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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