I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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