Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize