my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
His nipple licking is glorious
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