All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
