I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
