I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
