1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
