i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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