The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize