I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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