I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
