I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
pray to the hookup gods
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
