She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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