I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
