I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
