If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
