I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
