Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I am morally bankrupt
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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