no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
