I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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