You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she smelled like a LAN party
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
