i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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