So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
