she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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