I accidentally burped into my bong.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
