She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
