her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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