I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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