im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
