No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
