You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
