Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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