Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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