ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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