Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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