McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
