Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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