Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
