We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
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Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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