it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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