If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
