also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize