She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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