Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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