do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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