So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
