i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
