k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
is that a dick in a sweater?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
