Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
